Specialised hypnotherapy to help overcome the pain of bereavement and grief in Bury St Edmunds, Woolpit, Red Lodge and Ipswich, Suffolk
Losing someone you love is very painful. it hurts, it makes everyday a challenge to deal with and the process of readjusting and moving on can seem too big. The upheaval of dealing with grief and being left behind can go on for longer than expected with feeling, emotions, thoughts reappearing for no logical reason.
Triggers like a song on the radio, a type of food, a smell or sound can bring back memories, some sad, some happy. But for many these linger and are feelings of stress, anger, guilt, sadness and many more that loss has created.
Putting a brave face on can only work for so long – these feelings and emotions, if untreated, can quickly make a person feel overwhelmed so that they forget who they are or who there were before their loss.
Maybe you have been on prescribed anti-depressants or have chosen to find comfort in other things like food or drink. However these just help to numb the feelings or make you feel good in the short term, but once the effects have worn off, the bad feelings are still there, therefore a vicious cycle develops where you try to distract from the bad feelings leaving you to feel trapped, held back and unable to move on.
The 5 stages of grief and loss.
There are many definitions about what grief is. I believe that grief is the period of time that it takes for our brain to finally accept that someone has gone.
Grief is when everything in your body, your mind and your entire being keeps bringing the feelings back to the time the person was still alive, and it can take a long time for your body to let go of that. One of the hardest things of all can be to let go, or to give yourself permission to let go of someone you care about and love.
When it comes to moving on and learning to live with our loss, there are 5 stages of grief that we generally go through, and it’s healthy to go through them all. But at the same time our grief is as individual as we are and there is no such thing as a typical loss. You may go one step forward then take two steps backward, but this is all part of the process.
Denial – “this can’t be happening to me”, looking for the former spouse in familiar places, or acting as if they are still living. There may be little or no crying, and not accepting or even acknowledging the loss can be a normal reaction as this allows us to get through the day and handle only what we can handle at that particular moment.
Anger – “why me?” feelings of wanting to fight back, or anger at the deceased person for leaving them. Anger is an important emotion and by feeling our anger instead of bottling it in, we can release it and this helps us to move forward.
Bargaining – Attempting to make deals with God to stop or change the loss. Begging, wishing, and praying for them to come back, and we can get lost in the perpetual cycle of “what if…” and “if only…”
Depression – After the bargaining stage we come more into the present and can begin to experience overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, self pity, mourning the loss of the person as well as the hopes, dreams and plans for the future. These feelings can leave us feeling empty, a lack of control and feeling numb. This depression is an appropriate feeling and isn’t a sign of any mental illness, although we may feel it is.
Acceptance – the final piece to recovery – there is a difference between resignation and acceptance. Our goals turn toward personal growth and it’s when you realise that life has to go on. You may still have thoughts of your loved one, but less intense and less frequent. It’s at this point you can accept your loss. You should now be able to regain your energy and goals for the future, and these goals turn toward personal growth. It may take some time to get here but you will.
How can Hypnotherapy help me move through bereavement, grief and loss?
Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to remember a loved one without having the negative feelings, to be able to remember the happy times, because despite how you currently feel, there were times of happiness?
Difficulties happen when we get stuck at one particular point such as anger or depression, and if left this stuck feeling can last for years. Through my special style of Hypnotherapy I help you clear the emotional block so that you can move forward with your life and at the same time you’ll learn ways to help deal with unwanted emotions.